I am Lizzie, and I am completely addicted to my phone.
I don't like to use the word 'addiction' lightly, because addiction can be such a serious thing, but I feel I can accurately diagnose my total dependence on my phone - the device that is under my pillow as I sleep, wakes me up in the morning (when I will undoubtedly scroll through social media websites and play games before I get up) and then almost never leaves my person again for the rest of the day. I've noticed recently that I very rarely have a moment in my life that I'm 'not doing anything', because as soon as I'm between moments of activity, my phone is in my hand, and I will text or tweet or scroll until I need to be doing something else.
That would be worrying enough on its own but sadly my laptop plays a similar role. I don't have it on me at all times, so I'm not pulling it out while I'm in the queue at Asda, but when I'm alone in my room, there will almost always be music, a video or TV programme playing from my laptop. I fall asleep to the sounds of Rachel, Ross, Monica and co. I feel lost when my WiFi cuts out.
You're getting the idea.
What I've noticed lately is that my tolerance for 'silence' has reduced to almost nothing. I struggle to have more than a few seconds alone in my own thoughts and I didn't realise how damaging that was until earlier this evening when my laptop malfunctioned. I realised I'd have to use my alarm in the morning so I'd better charge my phone from the plug socket (instead of through the laptop, where it's always in reaching distance). For a half hour or so, my back was (literally) turned to technology. In that half an hour, maybe less, I read a chapter or two of Rachel Gardner's "Beloved" (which I have been meaning to finish since August), before I realised that my head was so full of thoughts that demanded attention and prayer. I got out my A4 notebook, like I did just a couple of years back before I had a laptop and smart phone, and I sketched out a spider diagram of things that were on my heart. Worries, short term and long term ambitions, frustrations, people I want to show love to. It all came out so quickly and frankly I'm surprised I was holding so much in without even realising it.
As an extrovert and external processor, I can perhaps deal better with this lack of time spent in silence, thinking things through. Though I use technology so much in my free time, I spend a lot of time talking to others, and almost all of my processing is done through chatting about these things, which I manage to do regularly (potentially a little too much).
But the one who I don't manage to communicate with so well in my Internet-saturated mind is the most important One of all. A few minutes of exploring what was going on in my heart and immediately I became more aware of God's presence, and moreover the fact that God is doing all sorts in my heart that I haven't been paying attention to.
Christmas is coming, and soon I'll be returning to my gorgeous hometown to spend time with my wonderful family, friends and boyfriend, and I'm going to be challenging myself to leave my laptop downstairs, turn my 4G off and try and use my iPhone like it's my tiny old Samsung brick. I'm tuning back into my family, into Christmas Spirit and into God.
P.S. I'm totally aware of the irony that after tonight's epiphany, I've spent the last 20 minutes typing this blog post on my laptop.
What I've noticed lately is that my tolerance for 'silence' has reduced to almost nothing. I struggle to have more than a few seconds alone in my own thoughts and I didn't realise how damaging that was until earlier this evening when my laptop malfunctioned. I realised I'd have to use my alarm in the morning so I'd better charge my phone from the plug socket (instead of through the laptop, where it's always in reaching distance). For a half hour or so, my back was (literally) turned to technology. In that half an hour, maybe less, I read a chapter or two of Rachel Gardner's "Beloved" (which I have been meaning to finish since August), before I realised that my head was so full of thoughts that demanded attention and prayer. I got out my A4 notebook, like I did just a couple of years back before I had a laptop and smart phone, and I sketched out a spider diagram of things that were on my heart. Worries, short term and long term ambitions, frustrations, people I want to show love to. It all came out so quickly and frankly I'm surprised I was holding so much in without even realising it.
As an extrovert and external processor, I can perhaps deal better with this lack of time spent in silence, thinking things through. Though I use technology so much in my free time, I spend a lot of time talking to others, and almost all of my processing is done through chatting about these things, which I manage to do regularly (potentially a little too much).
But the one who I don't manage to communicate with so well in my Internet-saturated mind is the most important One of all. A few minutes of exploring what was going on in my heart and immediately I became more aware of God's presence, and moreover the fact that God is doing all sorts in my heart that I haven't been paying attention to.
Christmas is coming, and soon I'll be returning to my gorgeous hometown to spend time with my wonderful family, friends and boyfriend, and I'm going to be challenging myself to leave my laptop downstairs, turn my 4G off and try and use my iPhone like it's my tiny old Samsung brick. I'm tuning back into my family, into Christmas Spirit and into God.
P.S. I'm totally aware of the irony that after tonight's epiphany, I've spent the last 20 minutes typing this blog post on my laptop.
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